Yes, I know, my wishlist is a little past time but still I don’t care. I need to write it down.
I’ve been asking myself constantly what would I want for such an occasion and to be honest, there’s plenty of things that I want but only a few of them do I really need. I always leads to that doesn’t it, we always want things we actually don’t need at all but, oh well. I would like to have a better life, have my own things, make my own way, meet some friends that actually deserve to have that title written beside their name in a postcard, meet a guy that can change my life for good, have a good job, get a car, travel the world, go places I’ve never go to before but most of all have the health, strength and will to pursue all these wishes. Yet I didn’t ask all of this for Christmas instead I asked for other things, things that would mean the world to me and that I would forever cherish deep in my heart.
Now we all have someone or someones we idol, appreciate or admire for whichever reason; for their music, their talents, experiences, voice and self-expression, just like I do but my problem is I admire and respect so many people I don’t even know where to start! Wait! I do.
Throughout my life the only way I’ve gotten myself back up from the ground and fast has been with music. I’ve come across a great deal of artist that I dare say somehow read my mind and wrote those precious lines with me in their thoughts and I will forever be indebted to them for such a grateful thing. Even for this Christmas which to me has been the worse of them all ( my parents separation, having to be the adult in this thing which isn’t even mine to be burdened by it, still single, no friends and worse of all no gifts except for the ones I bought for myself. Yay me!) music has been there for me to give me the courage and strength, to give me the power to get back on my feet and move on. I have to thank them all for it because if it hadn’t been for the music I don’t know what would’ve happened to me.
To start off my wish list, I really don’t ask for anything material, not a car, or money or a boyfriend really, this is more of a emotional/personal wish and desire to soothe my soul in some way. Like I mentioned before, I’ve found very talented artist throughout the road of discovery in music. One of them has been Corey Taylor. Personally at first I thought, okay another guy who sings pretty good in a metal/hardcore band, sure why not but when I actually started to read the lyrics and learn a little bit about him I said dammit, what was I thinking! This man is a fucking God! The deepest songs he ever performed in either Slipknot or Stone Sour were the ones that clawed my heart out and devoured it. Vermillion pt.2 was by then my ultimate favorite and it still is, the meaning it holds for me and what it has done to me will never be removed or forgotten. Snuff, now this song has my whole life written in it and every time I listen to it, something new comes out. It’s a song I don’t tire of listening and I’d love to see him perform it just once. Be there and look at him, hear his voice, not like through headphones or the radio but live, and be there to feel it and live it with him. It would be an honor for me to be there and hear him perform.
Another one of my Gods ( and this is basically because he has a huge talent) is ex- KSE performer, Howard Jones. I came across him at a very young age, a friend of mine introduced this band to be and I felt it click.v End of heartache was my anthem by them and when it came out on Resident evil’s credits I felt my heart skip a beat. Yea sure another hardcore/metal band, but this guy has such an amazing voice! How he can transform a blood-scream into a beautiful deep voice with a subtle treble in it. My God, he became an addiction, to hear his voice to listen to every word and every lyric had a meaning to me ( if it didn’t I wouldn’t have him mentioned here) even the songs I didn’t like so much I’d hear them just to hear his voice and imagine myself seeing them play even if from afar only to have it crushed by the news that he is no longer in the band. Leech is okay but it takes the difference from KSE to any other band, it makes it a common one. That’s why I would just like to meet Howard, he doesn’t have to perform for me just sit and talk to me, maybe have a cup of coffee or a few beers and just talk, nothing more really. He’s just someone I’d like to chat with and grow some sort of connection. Same thing happens with Marilyn Manson, I mean sure he seems quite… odd at times and very frightening at others but once I heard him speak about the documentary bowling for columbine I knew that looks were deceiving and that I had to meet him sit and talk to him about everything and if he ever made a movement I would follow him because he has a sense of thinking outside the box not having these margins and obligations. Now this guy is someone to have a deep meaningful conversation with. Someone to just talk about the unspeakable and I’d once again be honored to have this if it ever came to happen.
These are my wishes, to meet these three extraordinary men that have somehow given me hope and strength without even knowing them personally or they even knowing I exist.